I sat across a group of panelists in May 2016 before I even started writing my own column on this paper. As I sit there hoping to land a position in The LANCE Editorial Board, I asked myself, “how good am I going to be?” and “how good do I need to be?”
Here I am, two years later, writing my final column to culminate a two-year term as Sports Editor.
Life as part of a student-publication that’s in its transition period requires extra effort. The pressure of becoming good enough for your co-editors, the administration, students, and the paper itself has an underlying necessity of extreme commitment.
Yes, I was committed to my job; writing has become my passion ever since I step foot in Letran. I was devoted to revitalizing the paper, and even taking it to the next level. No doubt I was strongly faithful to the publication and to our Editorial Board, whom I always believed in.
However, I know my whole term wasn’t just as strong as my commitment. I know I had my lapses, shortcomings, and deficiencies. But my greatest deficiency wasn’t failure to pass articles punctually, or failure to produce well-crafted stories, but, admittedly, self-doubt.
I already knew I had to fill in big shoes ever since people offered me this position. Amidst the excitement and urgency to progress, I instead compared things from the way they were accustomed before. I often questioned my own skill, my potential, and if I am doing what I was supposed to do. I feared that I might not compass, nor even match the previous system.
In fact, I feared of not being good at what I do – to the point that I over think of what others might say about my work, my outputs, and the whole sports section. It was tough, yes, but soon I was able to filter its value.
So why do I write this? It’s for all the people, like me, who fears the possibility of not being good at something; who doubt themselves for they think they lack potential and who are easily pressured by unfamiliar situations. Do what you love, inspire. Do what you haven't done before, try. Take the risk, fail. Take the grind, succeed.
Realizing all of my mistakes, however, gave me a positive look at the future of this paper. To the next set of The LANCE editors, writers, and staffers, you may doubt yourselves but never let it overcome you. It’s part of the process becoming better -- for it makes you get out of your comfort zones and achieve greater things for the publication. You may sometimes fail but continue to pursue and never settle for mediocrity. Lastly, don’t be afraid to fail because failures are what make successful people (and newspapers).
So, how good am I going to be? How good do I need to be? Maybe more like, good isn’t enough for you to become who you want to be. Sounds just about right, yes? Yes.